Love is not painful.

"If you go into a relationship not feeling terribly good about yourself, you're more likely to become dependent on your partner to help you feel good about yourself. If we felt empty before they appeared in our lives, we fear the emptiness returning if they leave, so their staying with us becomes paramount. That dependency can create all kinds of fear and unhappiness when there's a perceived threat to you staying together."

I read this from an article about love and thinking whether to believe it or not. He's the one who brings me up when I'm down, who comforts me when I need someone, who listens to me when I need an ear to listen, who is there to give me his shoulder to cry on.

"Love is not painful, it feels incredible. The pain and hurt we feel doesn’t come from love, it comes from our doubts, fears, anxiety, perceived rejections, broken trusts, anger, jealousy, envy, etc. So why do we as a culture lump all those other feelings in with love?"

Fear is the factor for me. I have a fear that I'm going to lose him completely when I don't want that to happen at all :(

Another day has gone by and I decided to wait it out because I'm not gonna give up on us. I'm hoping really hard that everything will work out for the best. <3

because when you love somebody...

Hearing something about someone that you don't want to hear and that you know is completely impossible and hard to believe can get our minds running, but yet it can get us constantly thinking alot about it too. It can hold us back from many things and let things out. It can leave us standing alone in disarray and unpredictable feelings to come out. Time is the main factor in this situation because time will tell. Work things out and make a decision you won't regret. Always stay strong in all circumstances and never let your feelings get the best of you. I've come too far to just throw it all away but I'm willing to wait and see where all this will take me. I almost did something I knew I will regret and didn't want to do. I didn't because I just can't...and won't. Don't give up too soon because hopefully in the end everything will work out.

"because when you love somebody, you make it work..."

ST32
I'll always hold you down and love you no matter what. I promise.

Welcome Back.

Came home after 5 days of camp. It was a package filled with excitement, joy, fear, and drama. It was really hard getting through the days without talking to him. The days were so long, we ran through a scheduled 16 hour day. Friday finally came and he was the person I wanted to come home to. After everything that happened at camp this week, I was so glad I got to end the week with him. <3